Dear Chad,

Summer is here which means I’m getting sent away to camp again. Every year I have trouble making new friends and all of the other kids call me “weird”. Do you have any tips on how to make friends at camp?


Dear Lonely,

Dude, I am mad jealous that you’re going to camp this summer. When I was your age, Camp was number three on our list of “Coolest Places To Be When You’re Not In School”. Right after The Beach and Home. There’s gonna be so many activities, so much sunshine, so many fly chicks looking to hold hands. And most importantly, no P-rents keeping your buzz down.

Making friends can be hard (for some people, but not me).  Here are a few tips that I picked up over the years that will help you become Dr. Popular of Camp Cool Guy.

1. Wear a Cool Shirt - Fun t-shirts can be a great ice-breaker when starting a convo. Try something in neon pink or teal that uses buzzwords like “Skate!” or “Hashtag”. If you don’t own any cool shirts, just take a regular shirt and draw a Stussy S on it.

2. Change Your Name - Don’t let your nerdy heritage keep you down! My name used to be Chester Frisebewitz before I legally changed it to Chad Frisbee. Who would you rather hang out with, Chester or Chad? I thought so.

3. Don’t Show Fear - All teenagers (specifically boys) can smell fear and they will use it to destroy you. If you show the slightest bit of weakness in front of the pack leader they will tear you to pieces and piss on your grave. Don’t ever let them see you cry!

4. Laugh - Everybody loves a clown. LOL your way to the bank! The bank of friendship that is!

Other than that, wear sunscreen and don’t fall in love. You’re well on your way to a kick butt summer!

Guidance Counselor
Newburg Middle School